Monday, January 21, 2013

Movies to look forward to

It's January, which in the U.S. means that it's time for all the movies that are too lame to get much of an audience, but too expensive to put on the shelf, to be released. Here are some of the movies that you can expect to see between now and Spring:
  • Brokeback City: The heartbreaking story of the mayor of New York and the gay police detective who secretly loves him. Starring George Clooney as Mike Bloomberg and Jake Gyllenhaal.
  • Zero Dallas Forty: The true story of George W. Bush's plan to send the Dallas Cowboys to Tora Bora to capture Osama bin Laden. Starring Tony Romo and Nick Nolte as President Bush.
  • The Master-Bator: That scene in "The Master" where Amy Adams "assists" Philip Seymour Hoffman, played over and over again for two hours.
  • One Flew Over the Shall We Dance?: Two disturbed people in a Philadelphia mental hospital learn to dance in order to be released. Starring Jack Nicholson and Robert De Niro, with a cameo from Zachary Quinto as Dr. Thredson. Dubbed from the original Japanese.
  • The Lincoln Motor Company: The untold story of Abraham Lincoln's attempt to build luxury buggies in Springfield, IL. Starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Lincoln and Jerry Lewis as his mechanic, Irving.
  • The Miserables: The entire score of "Les Miserables", as performed by the cast of "Glee" on stage in front of a live audience in Paramus, NJ. Musical arrangements by Jonathan Coulton (uncredited.)
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