Insights from "Unstoppable": Based on the novel "Derailed" by Sapphire

I watched Tony Scott's movie "Unstoppable" last night, and learned a number of things:

• Never let fat, dumb guys drive a train.
• The train that the fat dumb guy is driving will inevitably be loaded with explosive materials.
• Television stations from Pittsburgh have an infinite number of ENG trucks.
• Even with infinite numbers of ENG trucks, you can never have enough helicopters.
• You know those fat, dumb guys? Don't promote them into senior management.
• Corollary to the previous: Executives always forget that they have insurance when adding up the costs of a disaster.
• Avoid putting a bending overhead railroad trestle right next to a dozen tanks full of fuel oil in the middle of a city.
• Fat, dumb guys notwithstanding, Pennsylvania railroads have the best-looking employees.
• While people from Pennsylvania divide the state into "Western", "Central" and "Eastern", movies about runaway trains in Pennsylvania divide the state into "Northern", Central" and "Southern".
• The best way to get your wife to lift a restraining order against you is to keep a runaway train from careening off an overhead railroad trestle into a dozen tanks of fuel oil.

All in all, it was a very educational evening.