Wednesday, August 15, 2012

NBC Olympics' host Bob Costas to go into cryogenic storage for future games

(New York, NY) -- August 15, 2012 --NBCUniversal announced today that Bob Costas, Emmy-winning sportscaster and host of NBC's Olympics coverage, has agreed to be placed in suspended animation between each Olympics. According to Mark Lazarus, Chairman, NBC Sports, "We'll be able to keep Bob fresh for Olympic coverage for decades, or even centuries, to come. Every two years, it'll be like Bob rising from the dead."

According to a company spokesperson, Costas will be stored using technology from NBC minority owner General Electric. Costas will be cryogenically frozen, after being hermetically sealed to prevent "freezer burn." A rotisserie-like device will rotate Costas's body to prevent flat spots.

One concern may be the impact of Costas's departure from NBC's "Sunday Night Football," but he said, "I've never been interested in football. If I can't cover baseball, I'd rather be unconscious and spinning around like a Boston Market chicken between Olympics." The plan is to defrost and awaken Costas two weeks before each Olympics, starting with the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Attendents will brief Costas on trivia and baseball statistics, and then he'll be flown to the Olympics in time for the Opening Ceremony.

Technicians from Syracuse University's Exercise Science Department, who will be maintaining Costas's hibernation unit deep below GE's Crotonville facility, say that they hope that it will eventually be possible to input trivia and baseball statistics directly into his brain during suspended animation. That would enable NBC to ship Costas to the Olympics site in a frozen condition, defrost, dress and seat him on set immediately before the start of the Opening Ceremony.

One side effect of the freeze-thaw cycle may be shrinkage of one-half inch for every Olympics, but technicians believe that they can solve the problem before Costas' height falls below five feet, or the year 2030.

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